Tuesday, December 30, 2003
Well I am slowly settling in. I have re-aranged Jonathan's living room and kitchen- and tomorrow, when my truck arrives, I will re-do his bedroom. lol.... actually most of the house is pretty well set up. I just had to rearrange some things for when my stuff arrives on my truck. Let me tell you- it will be nice to be sleeping on a big bed again. As wonderful as it is to snuggle with him, a single bed is just WAY too small to sleep on long term. God knows how I did it with John all those years ago. Especially as Mr Hot body is a furnace at night.
Next week he goes out of town for work. It's going to suck having him gone for a week so soon after I have arrived. I knew this was going to happen- I mean they have him out of town a lot, I was just hoping that we would have a couple of weeks to settle down together. Ahhh well, these are the times I live in. I just hope that I have a job by then. I am already going stir crazy being out of work. It's been 2 weeks now (a weeks driving and this week) and I am starting to go out of my mind. I interviewed with Pizza Hut today, so I am fairly sure that we will have no problems there. Just waiting on the background check to come back.
Things with Jon and I are great. He is more than what I dreamed. Everything he says, does, thinks is a wonder to me. We have done a lot of talking about the future, and we have both said that we often forget that we are not even engaged yet. But the love is there, and I see a very happy future.
Anyway, I must sign off this journal now. Using Jon's work PC as still no access from home.
Love you all!
Friday, December 26, 2003
Well here I am a week into my long road trip. Today is the third day in New York, we are spending it with Jonathans family for Christmas. It has been an intresting week.
The first two days we didn't even get out of Nevada. The first day doesn't really count much, seeing as we started driving at 8pm, and only went for three hours, but still- Nevada is a BIG state. The second morning we got up at 5am and took a 2 hour detour to see the Grand Canyon, at sunrise. It was amazing. The $20 to get in was a bit high we thought, but in the end it was worth it. That day we didn't stop until 9pm (which was really 10pm as we had crossed a time zone), and put a thousand miles on my car. Talk about numb butt. The third and fourth day we woke a little later and did fewer miles, but we made it to New York on the fourth day at around 3pm.
It was such a relief to get out of that car- I am not sure who was more relieved, me or the cats.
Spending time with Jon's family has been great. They are very similar to mine in many ways, so I feel a little at home. There has been a few awkard moments for me, when I had some flashbacks of times with Glenn and the family that hated me, but overall things went great. They have taken the Thanksgiving trip and the promise ring really well, and his mother seems to want to plan our wedding already lol. We've been told we are not allowed to have it this year (2004) as there are too many weddins already. So I am feeling more relieved.
Well, I must stop hogging the PC- I will be typing again from my new home when I get regualr service!
Friday, December 19, 2003
As pointed out by my august best friend I have been shamelessly neglecting my blog. I have not written since the 9th when I was writing that essay for class. Life has been so hectic recently with my move and all.
Oh wait- I have yet to talk about that in my blog. Oh my.
Well, while Jon was visiting me, we decided that we wanted to be together, and so, this Saturday, I take that cold plunge, and am moving in with him. To a frozen winterland. Yes my friends, I am movin' to Maine. The last few weeks have been so full with packing and studying, and moving companies, and everything else you must do before you make a move like this that I have not had much time for anything else.
I am so in love with this man that it defies belief. Who could think that in such a short time my entire life could be changed by meeting someone. Sure I have been in love before, and sure I have moved in with someone before, but for some reason this time it feels different. I feel different. I feel like this is the first step to the rest of my life.
OMG- What am I doing?!?
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
I have never known anyone who was such a complex mix of consistant hard work and procrastination. The two certainly don't go hand in hand!
Yet again I find myself up at 1am with writers block, trying to write an essay that is due in 2 days. Or rather, 1 day now. Tomorrow I have to work, and tomorrow night I have class. I just worked a 20 hour day and all I wanna do is go to bed and snuggle with my honey. Never mind that he isn't here right now, but I can dream right????
But I must struggle on.
This essay won't write itself!
Friday, December 05, 2003
Have you ever had someone in your life that you wish you could protect from all pain?
I am not the best person to talk about bad choices. I mean look at the relationship I was in for the last 6 years. Abusive, mentally, mean, nasty, and yet I stayed living with him for many years. And yet, I wish I could make choices for others to prevent them getting hurt. I just read the blog of my best friend Lyndall, where she talks about staying with her boyfriend after he cheated on her- and lied about it. As I sit and read the blog, my eyes fill with tears for the pain this man is putting her through.
Lyndall- I know you are reading this. I love you smelly- but as much as you love him- he's not worth it. It took me so many years to figure that out about Glenn, and I regret taking so long so much. It has been four and a half long years since I left Australia to move in with him, and it took me 4 long years to walk away from the misery he caused me.
Sometimes, it takes more courage to walk away than it does to stay. I thought I would never love again, and that I would never be able to survive if I walked away. I gave excuses... the cats, finances, anything I could think of. And now I look back and realise how stupid and nieve I was. He was never going to change. And neither will Ben.
You know I am not a big believer in God. But you know I love you. Lyndall, you need to find the strength to walk away. He will never change. This is not the first time he has hurt you, and it probabley won't be the last. I am here for you chicky, whatever you decide, you know that. But know this.... he has hurt you, and thus will forever have my distrust. You may forgive him, but I will not.
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