Saturday, June 30, 2007
Why is it that I keep meeting guys, only to find out that all the want is to get in my pants? It's not that I don't enjoy the attention because we all know that I do, but it just seems the quest to find a relationship has become a fending off of those that are attracted but unavailiable. First- there is the doctor at work, great guy is completly enamoured with me..... but he's still legally married and so wants to keep things physical so he won't fall in love with me (yeah THAT'S what a girl wants to hear). Then there is half a dozen of the mohawk ambulance guys who want to "do" me. Then there is Potato Chip. We sort of started dating again, but then it's hard on both sides... I don't want to do the long distance thing, and he wants to be friends but finds me too irrisistable. So thats 4 or 5 right there. And then there is this other guy I've been speaking to who is REALLY sweet and makes me smile. He hasn't tried to get in my pants yet, he seems to honestly like me and want to maybe have a relationship. But there is the small difficulty of the fact that he has a girlfriend. So maybe it is just a sex thing. Too soon to tell.
I guess in the end I am jinxing myself. Tyring to work things out with Potato Chip while still flirting with others. It's the whole loving him and wanting to work it out with him while still trying to move on and find someone who will be there for me. I guess it just isn't working in my favor.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
This is my second summer in my home and I REALLY want to tame the growth in my backyard. But I don't know what is a plant (and thus should be trimmed) or a weed (and thus pulled).
This is a Disease I had in my grapes last year- I chopped most of them back and don't see it this year- does anyone know what it is???
Look at my grapes this year!!
And my favorite Lillies..... these were white last year- how strange
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
You know, they say bad things happen in 3's. Sometimes I think it's more like 30's. It's been a rough two years for me and everytime I think I am getting ahead, I keep getting slapped with the bad luck wet fish. This particular run started when I was running late to work and got pulled over speeding. Ok- yes I was stupid. Anyway, turns out my licence was suspended- I had not responded to a ticket (Huh?) . So I am fighting that fight in court (I can't get a ticket if I didn't know I was breaking the law). And then my car insurance said that they were not renewing me because of my car accidents last year (too many claims). So I have to find new insurance while my licence is still on hold. Greeeaaaatttt.
I discussed more agressive medical options with my neurologist because of my frequent flares (2 in the last month and a half). We've decided to stay on the study because I am too scared of Tysrabi and I cant afford anything anyway. So he said he wants me to follow up soon, but that he's actually leaving. What a blow. I mean I was soooo lucky to be getting such a great Neurologist off the bat. I'm going to miss him.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
... From working in the Emergency Department.
1. Drunks are FAR too clever then we give them credit for.
They know the system far too well. Should one of them get abuse or out of line and we escort them out, or they have to wait in the waiting room for a spot like everyoen else, they will leave, walk next door to the physciatric crisis center, claim to have suicidal ideations, and they will bring them right back here. And then we HAVE to put them in a spot and have someone watch them. They will sleep it off, and then deny suicide in the morning.
2. Your Medicare Dollars are REALLY wasted. (Pun intended)
I can't tell you how many people I have registered with Medicaid who did NOT need to be in the ED, but could have gone to a primary care doctor or dentist. If we are loosing money on medicaid it's because primary care and preventative visits are not covered, and people come to the ED with a head cold and rack up a $1000 bill instead of the $100 bill a primary could have charged. Plus the drunks and drug seekers all seem to have Medicaid. I am paying for these people to sleep off their own excesses.
3. EMTALA doesn't work.
EMTALA is designed to prevent hospitals from turning away those without insurance who need care. Unfortunatly, it's BADLY written. While a private hospital like St Peters can turn away someone who has chopped off his fingers, but doesn't have insurance, we can't turn away a habitual drunk, or known drug seeker.
4. The "Look Test" is Real.
You don't have to be a trained medical professional to be able to look at at someone and KNOW that something isn't right. Of course this has to be used in conjunction with other stuff- like a complaint of chest pain and a bad look test is an instant "grab the nurse now" moment, whereas a hand pain that has an iffy look test, will be added to the top of the pile, but not rushed right back to a room.
5. It's wrong to judge someone- but we do anyway.
You get jaded in a place like this. You see a complaint of someone swallowing something by accident, or Suicidal or being stabbed or shot and you really judge the people. Sometimes you are right and you feel justified in your actions, sometimes you are wrong- and feel like a piece of shit. Most of the time though you are right.
6. Everyone things the ED will be a fast in/out experience.
If you EVER need to go the ED, you should allow at least 4 hours. If you don't want to 'sit around' for that long, then you are not really sick enough to come to the ED. And that 4 hours is just after you get IN the dept, that doesn't include the wait for a room. The ED is a happening place. Most of us (nurses, clerks, PCA's everyone) don't get to sit down at all for our 8 or 12 hour shifts.
7. People are MEAN
M E A N. I've had people tell me that it was on my shoulders if someone died and their son couldn't come in. We were on lockdown NOONE could come in or out- I had NO control of that. I've had people ask me if I was paid to think because I asked them to wait for the visitor liason. I've had people yell at me that they would sure because they waited too long to be triaged. I've been told that the fact that I can't give Medical information over the phone is unexceptable (That's a FEDERAL rule- not mine!) People just show no consideration at all.
8. Pus is Gross.
Yes Pus. I've seen blood, bones sticking out of the skin, poop, vomit, spittle. Nothing is as gross as pus. I'm gagging just thinking about it- so I think I will stop. Bile is a close second.
9. I will never EVER get on the back of a motorcycle.
Not for a million dollars. They nature of the injuries I see here because of motor cycle accidents..... it's NOT worth it.
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