Wednesday, September 17, 2008

6 weeks 

I can't believe it. In a couple days over 6 weeks I am going to be a mother. Now that I have finally come to terms with being pregnant- (in spite of the discomfort and illness, I think I don't mind being pregnant)- it's almost over. It still doesn't seem real to me that I am going to have a baby. It's almost like yesterday that I took that tiny little pee test that has so completly changed everything. I can't believe 9 months has gone by so fast.
Honestly, I am so afraid of being a mother. I think that overall I'll be a good mum- I mean, I'm great with kids. But I just don't know what the hell I am doing! Will I be patient when she cries? Will she face the difficulties at reading and writing as "sperm donor" does? Or will my plan to read to her from birth fix that? Will I actually read to her? I know I plan on it- but what if I am too tired? How will I cope when she wakes me up every two hours to feed? What if I can't stand breast feeding? OMG What if she doesn't take to the breast? I suppose all these things are things that new parents think of. I guess time will just tell.
For those of you interested, my doctor says she has dropped very slightly into the pelvis. She's facing my spine, and her back is pressed along my belly- so she's getting in position to come out. I gained 5 pounds this last 3 weeks (I need to lay off the grilled cheese I guess) but my doc says that's good as I lost so much in the beginning. But everthing looks good!


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