J called Friday. All week I'd been thinking about him, wanting to call him, to hear his voice. Afraid of rejection I didn't, but the thought seemed to obsess me every day. And then my phone rang. I think my stomach became one with my mouth. We talked for 2 hours and it was nice, just to chat, talk about everything and nothing. I mentioned that if he liked on his way home we could grab a cup of coffee. Sunday he called again, he wanted that coffee. He also wanted something else. I know he was thinking with his nether regions, and I told him right out that I didn't think I could go there. I didn't want to be hurt any more. He made it clear that to him it would be just sex, it didn't mean we were back together or anything. We organised dinner on Thursday- if he gets out of work early enough. And then... I caved. I know, everyone disaproves. About me even talking to him, let alone doing that. I'm headed for hurt again. And I know it.
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posted by Legna @ 10:25 AM