Tuesday, May 02, 2006


I don't know how I should feel. Being diagnosed with MS is not the end of the world. Obviously. People are out there living it every day. My mum, my boss, people I don't know. There is a grim acceptance inside of me- ok I have MS, now what. But there is also a feeling of denial. I don't think I truely believe it yet. MS? Me?
I mean I've lived around this since I was in my teens, 14 or 15 when Mum was diagnosed. But it seems... unreal. Mum having it was one thing, but me? It freaks me out a bit. What is going to happen to me? Am I going to progress? AM I going to be stable?
It explains a lot of things that I was attributing to other possible problems. Like the numbness in my legs when I walked anywhere, I thought it was just the disk degeneration. The lower back spasms I get that floor me- are they truely back pain or is it MS?
I feel like I am spinning in circles, accepting, denying, fearing. *sigh*


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