Monday, November 29, 2004

Families Hurt 

You know what really sucks? Is knowing that you love someone, and knowing that they love you, and knowing that you have a really great thing, but also knowing that people important to that person just don't see it?
Jon and I are finally back on the upward trend in our relationship. We've had a rocky couple of months, but we are finally breaking out of the rut and creating a base for us to create the rest of our lives. It's been work, sometimes hard, but I really think it's worth it. As does he. I have been looking forward to the holidays this year, as this was the time of year I met his family, and I was looking forward to giving them gifts that I have had planned just about all year long. But I come to find that there will be no gathering with me this year.
The one side of his family has been jaded by his "aunt". Dating his Uncle (never married) she has been in and out of jobs, financial strife, lawlessness- they see the last year (which has been one long rough patch for me) as a repeat of what she is doing. They can't see the improvements I have made in my life through these challenges, and although life keeps kicking me in the teeth I keep getting up to fight on. I don't blame them for being wary, I mean I HAVE had a crappy year financially, but how can I show them that I am not like that?
Then there is the other side of the family. I have written before I believe about the "bad weekend" I had when Jon and I moved to NY when his parents were visiting. I was not in the mood to be social, and it was obvious. Ever since then his "perfect" (or so she thinks) mother has been pouring poison in the ear of the family. It makes me so angry. I wrote a letter of apology as soon as it happened. I apologised in person the next weekend. I have been what they expect of me- a quiet mouse who speaks only when spoken too- and yet she STILL thinks I am not good enough for her son. I am sorry I am not an angel.
So this year Jon will go off Snowmobiling with his father (just the two of them, so I am not envious of that) and I will be left home, by myself. All because 1 woman wants to feel superior to me.


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